Please help! i want the abuse to stop?!!?

my boyfriend and I fight a lot. in my mind, he manipulates things and has to get the last word in the argument, no matter what the cost.





because he has to get the last word in, he has ended up saying some pretty cruel things to me in the past. He has called me several nasty names (terms you should NEVER call a woman) and on 3 occasions he has made the comment about how he is trying to push me away, get me to leave him, or how the relationship was all a joke, he was just playin





everytime he comes back and apologizes, saying he just said those in anger.





How would you deal with your sig. other telling you the relationship was a joke? even if it is in anger, still hurts





does he mean it or is he just trying to hurt me?





anyhow i am loosing ALL Desire to be intimate with him, as you can imagine. how do we bring the passion back%26gt;Please help! i want the abuse to stop?!!?
he has to change his ways, else he's bound to lose you for ever :)Please help! i want the abuse to stop?!!?
WHAT passion? Dump him and don't take him back next time. Tell him he doesn't know how to respect a woman and you have enough self worth to insist on being respected in your relationships.
Wake up girl.





He's told you what's going on. Move On! Because he will very soon. There is no passion to bring back.





Don't let yourself down by letting him belittle you.





Stand Up for yourself. If he is such a fool then you Move On and get yourself under control so you can meet a man that will respect you.
He told you he says that in anger, I'm sorry but you don't need that in your life. find someone else that will treat you better, and If you stay with him, he will keep on abusing you and apologizing to you. You have to start thinking whats best for you and it sure is not him, find someone move on.
Your instincts are correct. You don't feel like being intimate with him because is he not worthy of you.





Don't let your rationale confuse your common sense. He is very, very, very bad news.





There is not a man on this planet who is unkind, cruel and hurtful to the one he loves. That's not love in any interpretation.


You can't mistake love: the words--are loving, as is everything else about the relationship. that does not sound like what you have here.





Who says this stuff to his girlfriend?





And as for you, who wants to be manipulated, unsure of whether he meant it or not? Who wants to hear ugly things spoken to them? Who want s to hear that your relationship was just a joke? And, most specifically, who wants to be called names a woman shouldn't be called?





His apologies are great, but much like repeat offenders, if he was sincerely sorry, he would have stopped.





You already know what you should do, but in case you can't bring yourself to acknowlege what is right in front of you...it's time to pack up your love and affection AND intimacy, and take it to someone who really loves you. This person will be someone who values you, as a person, as a woman, and as a companion--intimate or not.





Also, you should value yourself more than this. Someplace there is a person who will speak to you as if you were the most treasured thing in the world. Words of love, of longterm committment, of respect. He may get angry from time to time, but he should have a way to release or diffuse his anger without verbally beating you up. I hope you find each other one day.





In the meantime, the decision is yours. Do what you think is best for you, regardless of what we say. I hope you make the right decision, the one you won't regret.





God bless you.


Hope this helps!
Well I'm a daughter of a father that was physically and verbally abusive to my mother and to me and my brother. He was like that until I was 13 years old. I would see my mother almost like a prisoner in her own home. He would come home and start in on her about things going on in the house and having dinner ready. He would call her all kind of names that little 3 and 2 year olds shouldn't hear. Then at times he would come at mom, trying to hug her and kiss her and be attentive and apologizing to her about his attitude. By that time the damage was done. Mama ha enough and she took us and moved. But then the funny thing about all this my mother became a verbal abuser too. She would admit to it herself, but she did. It was all because of the abuse she suffered from dad. I know that you are saying he's not physical with me, but hun abuse is abuse. It still tears down the self-esteem of a person and makes them turn into the total opposite of who they were before they met this person. It changes you and then you begin to see life in a whole new shade of Blue. It seems to me its already changing you. You are second guessing yourself and you are probably wondering if its your fault at times. Hun, if someone truly loves you they won't say things to hurt you and if they do it shouldn't be repeatly. I've been married for almost a decade and yes my husband has said things that hurt in an arguement, but it was a one time thing. When I'm with him he makes me feel like I'm wanted and if we argue he doesn't say anything that degrades me. If a man loves you he will respect you enough to not call you names or try to degrade you. Hun, evaluate things, go with your gut about your feelings, and if u see that he's not changing nothing says you have to stay there. hope this helps. Also, It changed me too and my brother. He got on drugs and started drinking, but before then he had emotional and anger issues, still does. Me, I tried to deny it, but I was craving for a male figure to truly love me. I became dependant of having that and ran into abusive relationships myself. Until I had enough. For almost a year I gave up on and went into the I don't care phase sleeping with men just to fill a void. That's a hard life to live and is dangerous too. Hun get out, you have the chance and the choice to make it offical and move on with your life. You don't need the love of a man to make you whole or keep you. Love yourself first then you'll be able to love a good man when he comes along. trust me I know what i am talking about. There are good ones out there just learn from this to not make the same mistake twice. Be blessed hun.
Girl, wake up! This is a dysfunctional relationship that has no chance of improving, first come the insults, then come the bruises! Leave him now before any babies come along and you'll have to have him in your life forever. It's hard, but be strong and don't answer his calls, avoid him at all costs and don't let him intimidate you or sweettalk you into giving him another chance. I went through this before, and when I finally got rid of him, it seemed like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. No sex is that good.
Sweetie, that's called verbal abuse and the wounds are just as real as physical abuse, only they take longer to heal because in order to heal, you have to replant a new thought system that allows you to believe contrary to the mean, cruel, demeaning things that were forced inside your mind about you.





A bruise heals over a short time, but mental abuse can change your feelings about yourself for the worse and it can take a lifetime to turn that around.
This is the thin end of the wedge, I am sorry to say, you can't stop anyone being abusive, that has to come from within them, having ';been there, done that'; I can honestly say it will probably get worse rather than better, and I would advise breaking the relationship now, far better to suffer a broken heart than a broken neck (or any other bone in your body) Broken bones are far more painful than a broken heart.
Honey, I went from an ';abusive step-mother'; to abusive husbands, all of my life, abused!! Until I got the backbone to leave and devorce my last husband!! And believe me he still want's me back, but it will be a ';Cold Day in Heck!!'; Before I ever go back to him!! I honestly dont know how to pick them, and I was verbally and physically abused too, so I know exactly what your going through, hun!! You need to get up the back bone to leave, no matter how trapped you feel, or how great the sex is, you deserve BETTER!!! No woman should have to go through what we've gone through!! If you need someone to talk too, I can try to help you to get out, by looking for shelter's or anything to help, if you want me too.. Just email me, at christyhorn@npgcable.com, and I'll try to do the ';Very Best, I can to get you out of there, okay!'; But you have to decide, if this is worth staying or not.. I cant make that decision for you.. You have to be good and sick of all of this bad enough to want out, hun!! Or no one can help you, you know.. Its only going to get worse, before it gets better, trust me on this one, and if you think for one minute you can change him, your only dreaming!!! Email me, hun....And I'll see what I can do too help you okay.. Smile, there's only the rest of your life with ';Sunny Days, ahead to look forward too!!'; Should you make the right choice!!!
Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical and eventually will leave you just as scarred .Don't take him back at all , it is just one step more to the physical abuse starting as well. If your looking to change him , that probably won't happen . If he wanted to change he would've already.As for you please talk to someone who is a pro at dealing with the emotionally abused , because without knowing it you may be doing him and you more damage by your taking him back and putting up with his destructive behavior. Wishing you all the luck and wisdom of the ages to deal with this before it's a much worse situation.
it starts with verbal abuse. when that stops working to scare and control you, it will evolve into physical abuse. if you want to end up in a battered womens shelter, by all means keep accepting his appolgies and taking him back. other wise you should run away from him as quickly as possible. if he treats you that way now, imagine 5 or 10 years down the road.
Too me he might be bi-polar or has an anger issue. Not saying that he does but something is up with him.





I think I would get out of this relationship. You guys really don't have a relationship anymore. He is just going to keep emotionally abusing you. I would just leave him. You don't need to be in a relationship with a person that calls you names and makes you try to leave him.





You are much better off without him.





If you really love him and want to stay with him then you two need to talk and tell him how when he says certain things it hurts you and ask him if he does really think that this relationship is a joke.
Are you crazy?! get away from that man! He will only get worse and make your life miserable! Find yourself a man who makes you feel beautiful and pampered, they are out there! You won't find one if your wasting all your time on this guy, who actually hates women anyway. You don't need to bring back the passion you need to dump him!
It sounds like there was never any passion to begin with. If it was a real relationship and he says he loves u than you have to know he doesnt, not if he can look you in the eye and say those things to you. that should tell you something. I couldnt even begin to think about stricking a passion with him.