Breaking it off with mom? repost?

reBreaking it off with mom?


ok so i am 18 and an independent homeschooler i live with my fiance since it was court orderd that i recive child support i still get it but my mom trys to hold to it over me. i stop getting it june 12th. she also holds my phone over me casue she pays the bills. now when i say over me i mean ';mom i dont want to go to the dr its not problem i know the women in our family have mentral problems but i have been tested and every thing is fine'; '; young lady you will do as i say i am your mother still 18 or not ...'; now i really dont care much about the phone or the money adn i have told her that and now she has started this '; if you dont listen to me i will never let you see your siblings again'; stuff. i am getting married in july. we have been saving and i am paying for everything walmart and goodwill are my friend. as i said before i pretty much realized that the money from child support doesnt matter but i want to kids at the wedding so i am trying my best to agree with her on everything. she decided we had to buy her tags in another state( ileagal) when she wanted us to got mad and started screaming at me about how i am rude and inconsiderate because she wanted to use me as a dependent on her boyfriend who i havent seen in a yeats taxes becasue they just got back together and wanted me to lie to fafsa and started yelling about how i take things to seriously that they wont put me in prison even though it says so on the form. everytime i disagree with her she tells me ';18 or not i am still your mother you incondidorite brat and you will listen to what i have to say and not raise your voice i dont care how loud i get. i am tired of this sh** with you fighting with me i am your mother i swear if you keep this up you will not see or hear from the kids again till they are 18 or i will call the cops on you'; once we get married i dont want her to keep this up. we have agrred that i will give her my phone back but i dont want her to keep controling me when it comes to the kids. she is always borrowing money from me and then insisting i live off her when i am living in my fiances grandmothers house and i have to sneek stuff in( thing for the house toilet paper,soap things like that) cause she wont accept rent. everytime she needs money its well i the kids this and the kids that but i know what its going to mcdonalds and beer for her boyfriend. if i argue she tells me i cant see the kids. how do i stop this cirlcle once i get married and start college?








oh and ps please dont start up about my child support i use it for what its for food,school supplies,and meds if i need food and i want shoes i get the food if i need a text book and i want jewlary i get the text book if i need to refill my migrane meds and i want to put money away towards college well the meds come first i know what its for what i have left over is what i put towards savings for college and the weddingBreaking it off with mom? repost?
id tell your mother you need some space from her until shes willing to not control youBreaking it off with mom? repost?
I find this hard to believe... mainly from the homeschool perspective. You're the first homeschooler I've ever met with atrocious grammar and writing skills such as this.





If you're going to live on your own, you need to be completely self-supportive. Your mother can't pay for anything or else she'll use it against you. If you can't do that, I'd suggest sucking it up and moving back home.





Once you're self-supportive, my bet is that your mom will back off because she's not supporting you.





If it continues, call the police for harassment, you can even seek legal help with seeing your siblings.





I hate it when parents are all authoritarian and **** like that. Your a person first, then my mother. I'll only respect you if you respect me, there's not going to be any of this blind obedience going on.
i could never do that
I don't know how on earth YOU are receiving child support because this actually is not your's...it's for the person raising you...so if anyone 'finds out', like I'm assuming 'dad', he really has no right to pay for this...%26amp; esp if your grandmother of your whoever does not ask for support...another thing;; your mom has every right to control what happens in her home %26amp; how you correspond or influence your younger brothers %26amp; sisters if she feels that it is wrong, or if you are a bad influence even in her own mind..can't help you with the rest, cuz frankly, if ya want to be independent, ya gotta play the part...good luck, but there will be a time when you brothers %26amp; sisters will have their own decisions to make..just be patient...%26amp; just tell mom ya won't play the 'games' anymore...
Yes, break it off. If she chooses to keep the kids from you, then that is HER choice. It is a bad one, but she is the parent, and it is her right. When the kids are 18, you can contact them and let them know they have a friend. They will be where you are, trying to escape from her, and you can save up and be prepared to help them, then.





Remember, they'll probably get cell phones, and you can probably find ways to keep in touch, discretely.





Best Wishes. You are an adult, now. It is up to you to gently establish your new status with her. She is going to have to adjust, but you can't keep pretending you are a child forever. She may still be your mother, but she no longer has legal authority, and you have responsibilities as an adult to make the best decisions for YOUR family (you, your partner and minor children), just as she must make decisions for HERS (herself and her minor children). You don't have to listen to her. You don't have to raise your voice. You don't have to talk to her at all. You get to decide whether to talk to her, and you will make that decision based on how she behaves.





Best Wishes and Good Luck!!
Welcome to the sisterhood ! I don't think there is one daughter who has not had a ';mother issue'; in her life. You are well in your way to overcoming the stressed relationships issues, at least I hope you do not repeat them.





Your mother's behaviour is typical of learned abusive behaviour that are passed on through parents to children and so on. I think you should have a private talk with your siblings first, explain to them that not matter how much time you spent with them, or what happens between you and your mom, you love them and would welcome them at your home for a visit and especially at your wedding, tell them the date and place so they can go on their own if needed. Make them part of the wedding if at all possible.





Next, learn this: the best sign of being self confident and independent, is not to worry about what others think of you.





I think you are too young to get married, however I respect your choice.


I see your need to establish a functional family of your own, you could do this without the legal marriage, but you need it because of your experience growing up in a stressful family environment





You explained that mental health problems are genetic in your family, so if this is your mom's problem, be patient....then you need to explain to your mom that this is your wedding, and she is welcomed to be involved by _____ explain exactly what you want her to contribute and thereby you limit her participation to things that give you some space. You may also tell her that you want some of your siblings to be participants in the wedding party - buttoneers, flower girl, maid of honour, bridesmaid, etc...depending on what you will have so she KNOWS that if she prevents them from going, she is depriving them and not just you.





Her personal life is hers, you know she is messed up and it is her choice to work on her personal recovery and self development. You mind your own recovery and development, and be there for your siblings to guide them with theirs when they need it.


Good luck with your mom, I am afraid there will always be an issue with her, get used to it, and take a step back when it get to be too much.





Best wishes in your wedding and married life, and most of all, best wishes in your personal life and recovery. I think you already have the clarity of mind to reach a successful personal development.