Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. We are very much in love and plan to marry when we can. But his mother bugs the hell out of me and i cant stand it anymore. He was neuatral at first, but he has taken my side cause it is obvious to how rude and crazy his mother is.
He lives at home still and he is in college and i would come over and spend the night. never bothered the woman ever, until she started to not like me. I never gave her any real reason to dislike me, honest. i was raised to be respectful to adults, but i cant take it anymore.
Recent Situations to where she was rude or crazy starting with simple ones:
1. My bf and i are strong on our opinions and were very alike in most things, but when were not alike we debate things and discuss topics and his mother always interupts us and yells out loud for everyone to hear, for us to stop fighting. It embaresses me and im like wtf cuz we were obviously not fighting.
2. she NEVER says hello or goodbye to me. but when my bf's friends come over, she is like oh heyy guys, how are you, hows your mother, blah blah.
3. she always tries to kiss my bf on the lips. its whatever, but it bothers the fuc out of me, and my bf dont like it cuz she never used to do it. its like she does it on purpose to irritate me, but my bf always pulls away and offers his cheeks instead, cuz he is grown! not ten!
4. my bf used to smoke weed, and his WAAYYY older sister who calls him her 'baby brother'; tries smoking with him all the time(a few months ago) and i got sick of it cuz i wanted him to stop for me, cuz i dnt like that. i txted his mom(cuz we used to be cool with each other) to talk to his sister about it. i didnt think she would freak, cuz she knew my bf drinks, smokes, ect. i didnt think it was my place to tell his sister cuz im way younger. but his mom is uneducated and ignorant and reads the txt aloud where they happen to be at a gathering and embaresses his poor sister. WHO DOES THAT! IT WAS OBV PERSONAL SUBJECT! but i wasnt aloud over for the longest time.
5. i hate big dogs, and my bf has this bigg dog and it smells all the time cuz it an outside dog. but the dog tried to eat off my plate cuz his mom lets the dog eat off hers and give him people food all the time! i naturally smacked the dog and said NO! and he tried to bite me! his mom calls the dogs an pets it and and awwwing it. and says 'u dnt like her either??? awwww'. WTF not to mention that was the day i brought one of my best friends over and right in front of her.
6. MY WEIGHT. im 5 foot 1 and i weigh 125. my bf and i were out to lunch with his mom and she asked how much i weighed, i said 120 and she freaks out in the diner and says 'omfg i weighed that after i had kids. i weighed 90 when i was ur age' she said it so loud and freaked out! what the heck! she is not even close to my weight nowadays and always has some rude comment bout my outfits, cuz i dress nice no matter where i go.
7. recently about a month ago, my bf an i got in a arguement and he left and turned his phone off. i got worried about him, and i txted his friend to see where he is and his friends acts like he is trying to get ahold of him for me. but he starts fucin with me later adn i finally go to bed. i go to my bfs house the next day an he lets me in and i hug him an apologize. we make up and we start breakfast. his friend texts me an asks if i found him and i text back saying ';yea i beat the fuc out of him lol jk. we made up an were making breakfast.'; (now this friend isnt very fond of me cuz he does drugs and i hate it!) but his friend calls my bf's mom cuz at this point his friend knows she dnt like me and tells her i beat the heck out of him and i said i control him, and all this bullcrap. an his mom calls him an tells him to get me out of her house. like wtf. his friend forwards texts from me to his mom, and actually cuts out half of my words in the texts to make me look bad. but since then, i havent been aloud over, even now. when it has NOTHING to do with her, and she believes some loser pothead over her own son.
8.my bf's phone messes up and shuts off randomly cuz he dropped it in water.and he picks me up everyday an takes me to school(now i give him gas money every week) he had an exam the same day too. and i wanted to make sure he went cuz he used his phone as an alarm. i texted his mom, thinking it be okay, cuz the previous day she was texting for an hour straight cuz jeremy spent the night at his friends house and he wasnt home. he is grown. he can do whatever. but she was txting me where is he? have u tlked to him? where is he blah blah. but anyways, i texted her an asked her to make sure he is awake, cuz he has an exam. she gets up early anyways cuz she is a teacher aidMy boyfriends crazy mother! Advice? opinions?
Call her 'mom.'
Even if you don't feel like it.
Even in your internal monologue.
Keep referring her as your mom.
In real life and in thought.
If you can't make your self do this by your own, it will never be a happy relationship.
Practice takes time, you'll get over it.
I know it's weird but it's the only way.
Eventually the success of your conditioning will express itself naturally.
Just keep doing it though no matter how awkward (since you and his mom are already awkward).My boyfriends crazy mother! Advice? opinions?
call here see them i hope get better
First of all, any girl who has the balls spend the night at her boyfriend's parent's home needs her head examined.
If my son brought a girl over to spend the night with him (and it won't happen, believe me), i'd label her as a slut right off the bat.
Everyone has sex, but how disrespectful can people get? I'd die before i had a boyfriend spend the night at my mom's house.
As for the rest of your question, you are setting yourself up with your boyfriend's mother by giving her too much information to repeat to others, and also by letting her behaviors control your emotions.
Hitting a dog is wrong - dogs do not understand hitting. Never will.
Dysfunctional and irrational thinking is apparent throughout this question. Maybe grow up.
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