Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to stop hating myself after I cheated?

2 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend of 6 months with a new ';friend'; that I had just met in the area.





I had only know him for a week, when he got really close to me and stupidly, I let him. I had a petty fight with my boyfriend earlier that day and went to my new friend to talk to. He told me that he knew how to make it all better and after 5 minutes, I was in tears and couldn't believe what I had done.





I told my boyfriend and he was so very hurt. It crushed me to see him so upset and hurt.





The problem I'm having is that I can't stop hating myself for what I did. Even though my boyfriend said that he has forgiven me and that we should move forward and leave it in the past, I can't help but think about what I did and hate myself. I know what I did was very, very wrong...What I need to know is how to move on...How to leave it in the past and move on, erase the memories I have.





Your POSITIVE answers are much appreciated. I already feel bad enough for what I did.How to stop hating myself after I cheated?
seems like the only one u need to forgive is u. turn those bad memories into focusing on your boyfriend and being good to him. if u have a man who has forgiven u, your very lucky.How to stop hating myself after I cheated?
Wow, lucky are you that you have a guy that wants to move on and has forgiven you. Kudos to you for being honest with him and about why you did what you did. Consider that a huge lesson and know that now you won't let yourself get in that situation again, no matter how bummed you are or mad or resentful of your boyfriend. Whenever you're feeling like you can't forgive yourself, do something awesome for your man and tell him how much you love and appreciate him...you don't need to talk about the other guy at all.
No perfect person exists on earth. Everyone does things they should not do. Listen to your boyfriend and take his advise. Stop beating yourself up over something that you cannot go back and change. Live and learn my dear....live and learn.
dear friend,


past is past nothing can be done 4 it u knew it very well. A MISTAKE IS A MISTAKE ONLY TILL U DIDNT UNDERSTANDS IT IS A MISTAKE. K ANY HOW BE PROUD U R BOY FRIEND ACCEPT U BACK NEVER LEAVE HIM AT ANY CAUSE PLS,,,THINK HW GREAT HE IS??????
Only time can take away the pain.
You can get past this. The good news is you are not married. Trust me this changes this immensely. Stop hating yourself, we all make mistakes and the fact you are sorry means you have a heart. This too shall pass. Until then, just let your guy know what he means to you. He is going to be very suspicious and expect honesty at every angle. This is his right and your duty as the forgiven cheater to do this for him. Good luck!
The ONLY way to get over dwelling on the cheating is to accept what it is- in your case a mistake (or so it seems). We all make mistakes and forgiveness from yourself and him will be necessary to move on.





IF the cheating wasn't a mistake, it may be a need. As human beings, we all have needs. Personal sex drive varies from person to person, and some need it more than their partner can give. Others just need to have a few extra sexual partners to be satisfied. Again, you would need to accept what it is.





Life is too short to live in regret.
I know how you feel, I did something i regret so much recently, but like you my partner forgave me and now i relize how lucky i am to have this person in my life. I am not proud of my self but you know what ? Its a mistake that i will never make again, because i have felt ill and sick and the hate i have for my self became overwhelming. But you must now move forward and relise what you have got and build I know. Move on today and build for the future. In my case it was a mistake and it sounds the same for you so lets learn our lesson and never do it again and show the person we hurt how we each love them. I hope you are ok.
You should always keep in mind that cheating is a terrible thing to do, but never let the guilt take over you. Consider it as a life lesson, you now know that cheating didn't help anything and you saw how much it crushed your boyfriend. Also bear in mind that we are all human, we all have urges and weak moments, and no one is perfect. It's still no excuse, but it's true.





Now concentrate on your relationship, be happy that your boyfriend has forgiven you and realise how lucky you are that he did. He must love you! I doubt he will forget what you did, but he has still forgiven you and has moved on - how mature. Stay strong and learn from your mistakes, don't let them control you.
Life is about making mistakes, the only thing you can do is learn from them and not repeat them. The fact is your 'friend' caught you at a low ebb, where you wanted to punish your boyfriend, and exploited that to get what they wanted.

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