What have I done? will it ever stop!!?

Well last year I made a few mistakes last year at school and it really messed me up mentally and emotionally.I'm currently a Sophomore this year but I'm still having trouble getting over it. It's like I want to go to school and have fun and enjoy myself but it's like something won't let me! It feels like something is holding on to me to were it makes me think about all the bad things I've done. What makes it worse is when I thought everything was just about to pass over it just began back up but not about something I did. My ex got locked up and the reason people are making a big d@mn deal about it is because when I was 14 he just turned 19 which made him a two time senior and to top it off HE WAS BLIND! so everybody knew him because he was bad in school. So when I heard about this everybody was like ';your boyfriend got locked up for messing with little kids';(which was true but we broke up a LONG time ago) But I feel guilty and I won't allow myself to have any fun because thinking about the other things I did(fighting in school, etc) What can I do to get over this? This is really one time it is hard for me to let things like this go and it hurts my feelings. I wish I was smarter back then and knew. ahh!!! I beat myself up everyday because of this. I need serious help!! Can somebody give me some advice on what I should do here? I hate people when they make up stupid fake rumors and it isn't true! why don't they know how it affects people! plus I feel uncomfortable going to certain events like basketball games, football games, dances,etc or getting into school supporting things like cheer leading(I was a cheerleader last year so people automatically knew who I was) because it seems like people know what I did last year and they all look at me. It's sooo embarrassing! What have I done? will it ever stop!!?
Well, if you are still having trouble, then try to follow the best advice you will get from some of the people that will answer your question.





You are in school right now, and all years of high school are important, especially junior year, trust me, I am a junior so I know what I am talking about. So you need to focus on school alone.. that doesn't mean by strict on yourself and not have some down-time, but don't get sidetracked. And well.. your ex is your ex now.. don't let his mistakes bring you down or change people's opinions of you. That needs to stop.. and you don't need to feel so guilty. I hope you are thinking right now, since what needs to be done is a lot of change.





Stop fighting, stop being bad in school (if you are), change your attitude around, act better, do better, try to aim high for your grades, and think about how you want to be in the future. Successful, happy, and loving your life, so this needs to be in your mind right now. Don't let other people degrade you, since they just want someone they can just mess with or toy with their mind.





And, it's always in school that someone ignorant makes up a rumor and it gets spread, then everyone will believe it.. it's like a lie, it builds up and becomes a snowball no one can handle. And also.. try to dispel the rumors and not get uncomfortable or angry when you go to events. Because truthfully, teens don't know what the truth is, why a rumor is false, and how being mean affects a person.





I wish you much luck.