My best friend has been dating this guy (who I don't really like) since early January. I thought that she was seeing him so much because it was a new thing, and the novelty of it would soon wear off... But she is still spending all her time with him five months later. Before she started dating this guy, she and I used to spend a lot of time together, and she DID have a boyfriend, who she'd been dating for four years. I would spend days at a time at her house, we would hang out at college and go shopping together. If she ever went anywhere, she would invite me along, and vice versa. Now, she literally sleeps in the same bed as him every night.
She doesn't invite me over anymore. She doesn't invite me out anymore, except to pool once a week-- with her boyfriend, and a few of out mutual friends. If I invite her out, she either tells me she can't because she's with him, or she bails on me at the last minute, or she asks if she can bring her boyfriend, and I would feel like a ***** if I said no. Oh! And did I mention the PDA? Whenever we're out in a group, they are always grabbing each other, and kissing.. which, there is nothing wrong with, but if I'm trying to have a conversation with her and all of a sudden he's in her face, and she stops listening.. that really pisses me off. And it happens every. single. time.
We don't even talk very often anymore.. and when we do, she's usually complaining about their most recent fight... because they fight A LOT about such stupid stuff, most likely as a result of spending too much time together.I have been dropping hints, telling her I miss her, and that we don't spend as much time together as we used to...
She asked me today what I want for my birthday, and I told her that I want to hang out for the day because we haven't in so long. She told me a few months ago that she thinks he is ';The One,'; although I don't know how you can feel that way after knowing someone for only a few months. She's also told me that she puts her relationships first.
I really don't understand how she could want to spend so much time with him. I have had boyfriends before, and I have been in love before, but I have always liked to have my personal space. I really think it's an unhealthy relationship, especially considering the way the relationship started...
She had been dating this guy that she had met in high school for four years. Towards the end of last year, the problems they'd been having over the course of the relationship were beginning to overwhelm her and she told him she wanted an open relationship. She began hooking up with this new guy, and then she dumped her bf, then got back together with him, and then dumped him again. A few weeks later, this guy who was supposed to be ';just a hookup'; is her new boyfriend. I may be wrong, but aren't you supposed to allow yourself a little breathing room before jumping right into a new relationship?
Again, I really think the whole thing is really unhealthy, and I don't know whether it's my place to say something or not. He has emotional problems of his own, every fight that she's told me about has been instigated by him about the most random, stupid stuff, like buying him a slushie, and she blames herself every time.
I really miss my friend, we've been best friends for going on seven years, and I don't think she's in a healthy relationship, and I want her to be happy but I don't want to say the wrong thing and make her hate me.Is it normal to spend 24/7 with your boyfriend?
what? geez i'm so drunk right now... i didnt understand a word. i'm sorry, dont waste your time on my post. i just had my break up last nightIs it normal to spend 24/7 with your boyfriend?
Tell her all of this. As a friend you need to get her out of a relationship you feel unsure about. 7 years of friendship should outweigh 5 months of dating.
This happens to too many people, there really should be a healthy balance between friends and significant other.
I completely agree that this sounds like a very unhealthy relationship.
As her best friend, you really need to talk to her about it. So she'll get mad and you're going to have to say things she doesn't want to hear, but it's for the best. You would want her to do the same thing for you, right?
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