I need advice. My boyfriend cheated. The girl started harassing me!?

My boyfriend that I have been with for four years and I have an 18 month old with started cheating on me. He gave the girl the impression that he was going to leave me and that he didn't love me and even after I found out and confronted them both they both lied and continued to see each other, but she started having feelings for him and so she started telling him that I was the one harassing her. He tells me he believes me then he goes and sees her and she manipulates him into believing her again. She has accused me of repeatedly calling her phone and hanging up. She says that I gave her number out to random guys and told them she wanted sex. She claims that I created a fake profile and posted naked pictures of her. However the same naked pictures she claims I posted are pictures she sent me to my e-mail stating that it was her and my boyfriend having sex. When I showed him he said it wasn't them. Now she has filed a temporary restraining order against me for harassing her but she can't prove something that didn't happen. My boyfriend has been horribly cruel during this whole situation continuing to lie to me and sleep with her. He tells me to just get over it, that I am acting like a first grader. He tells me as I am crying in front of him look how you are acting look at yourself. He told me that he would defend me and be there for me during the hearing then he went and was with her again and now has changed his mind. He says he can't miss work. He says it has nothing to do with him but I think that it's because of him. I feel like this is all his fault but he just shows no remorse and tells me cruel things he calls me names and makes fun of me but he defends her! I tell him that no other man would do the things that he has done and feel not one shred or guilt, remorse, or anything for having hurt me the way he has. He says I am making **** up in my head. He says he hasn't done anything and that he treats me good. He told me last night that he wasn't going to go with me now. He makes fun of me when I cry. I went to bed yet he still was saying he wanted to be with me and he came to bed with me but when I kicked him out he started hitting me choking me smothering me pushing me and he restrained me as I tried to fight him off. He finally left and told me to kill myself because no one would try and stop me or care. Then he came into the room after I cried myself to sleep and was holding me and kissed me on the cheek when he left for work. I am wondering what I should do about this girl and the restraining order, what I should do about my boyfriend and advice for leaving when I have no job or no where to go. Also I was wondering from men out there if they feel as he does that it's my fault that he cheated and that she started harassing me. I have snooped in his myspace, and his bank accounts, credit cards, phone accounts to try and find out if he was cheating. I found out he was and he still says that makes me a psycho stalker. I want to know if I am wrong for feeling this way or if it was my fault. Am I so unattractive? (I have a pic posted). Would you believe your girlfriend of four years over some girl you started cheating with. Also he has seen the texts, the messages, and has seen my phone logs. He still thinks I am lying! He says I am sneaky. Well, I have become sneaky in some ways, but what she has accused me of is way beyond snooping in your boyfriends phone and bank statements, right??? I just don't understand what he is doing! Why does he continue to see her if he keeps telling me he wants to be with me??? If he wants to be with her why doesn't he leave me? It seems to me like he feels like I will just let him see her until he gets bored with it then he can come back and nothing will have change. He expects me to continue to take care of the home, our child, the finances all on my own while he's out cheating on me. When she served me with the order he showed her how to get to our house to serve me and was downstairs talking and laughing with her for about twenty minutes before they came up and gave it to me. I feel like I have been betrayed horribly and he says I am making it all up in my head. He says I am crazy. I just need advice. I really want someone to tell me that I am not wrong here. That he is not normal and that all men aren't like this!I need advice. My boyfriend cheated. The girl started harassing me!?
who's going to read all that?





let's cut to the end. he cheated...the end...move onI need advice. My boyfriend cheated. The girl started harassing me!?
your a very pretty girl and your ';boyfriend'; should not treat you this way at all. you need to get out of this relationship no matter how much you love him. take your baby and leave. if you have any friends, stay with them. or parents, they're always there for you. also, get a job. he's abusing you. you need the restraining against HIM AND THE GIRL. for the safety of you and your child, you need to leave him. wish you the best. good luck
Honey, the bottom line here is that he cheated on you. You know about it and he still didn't stop. In fact, he's laughing about it. And he attacked you.


My advice is just pack up your child and leave. You will find someone who will actually respect you. Not all men are like that. He is definitely not a normal guy, he is an *** who doesn't deserve to have you in his life.


And if it makes you feel better, remind yourself that if he cheated on you with this girl, chances are he'll cheat on her with another girl. Then she'll know exactly how you are feeling right now.


Get you and your child out of there. Good luck hun.
Fu*k them both and leave his sorry dumb as*. You deserve better.
you need to leave this whole situation alone. if not for you for the sake of your child! if you let this continue your baby will grow up thinking this is normal when it is not! and even tho you cry and carry on about him cheating and such you are letting him win. by forgiving him and taking him back you are saying ';its ok to do this to me and this is ok to teach our kid'; its really not ok at all! leave this loser before you become a jessie davis... dead at the hands of your lover that would be tragic and just remember its not about just you... do whats right for your kid and keep them awaay from this monster
';I really want someone to tell me that I am not wrong here. That he is not normal and that all men aren't like this!'; O.K., I'm telling you: You are not wrong here, he is not normal, and all men aren't like that.





There... does that help? Now what? Nothing we do or say here changes anything -- you need to get a spine and fix your situation yourself. You need to get away from these psycho people and this psycho situation... you are not going to change him, nor is the situation going to ever get better -- you need to get out. NOW.
KK take this easy cauze if u think about too much ul get all this stress and stuf.. just when he goes out f the house next time, dont let him back in the house. and hes messed up forget about him. Get ur baby and live a happy life wit some normal person.
leave him he isnt worth it , this isnt a good situation for you and your baby..you both deserve better I have been in your shoes...and i am glad i made this choice now that i look back at first i didnt want to but glad i did now.
ok. if you have parents or a really good friends, go stay with them. get out of that relationship. if he hit you, then you've got to get out. i realize it's not that easy but see if you can stay with someone. you are NOT the one at fault here. he is benig a total jack*** and even though he says he wants to stay with you, he sure as **** isn't acting like it. as for that girl, ignore her. they're both jerks and deserve eachother. it's gonna be hard. but get out. that relationship is not good for you or your baby. good luck! and let us know what happens... if he continues to hit you, call the police.
you really have to shorten that nobody will read it all
He hit and choked you? And you let him stay in the house?





Honey, you're the one who needs to request the restraining order - against both of them. Get your baby out of this drama and move on with your life.
leave him (AND her). the fact that she's screwing with you is because they are BOTH talking trash on you.


i don't care what anyone says, you NEVER get over someone that has cheated on you and ';put it in the past';. it can't be done. don't spend any more time in the torment these jerks created.





ps


you MIGHT be able to remain somewhat friends with him, but as a partner, it will never be the same.
WOW.


I can totally totally TOTALLY relate to your story.


My boyfriend cheated on me 4 months ago with this girl - she tried to manipulate his mind also, and tried to make him fall for her, and she kept saying things about me so she would ruin our relationship, and it completely worked for a matter of time. He changed on me, flipped, was so moody, barely calls. She told him to leave me if he wants to be with me. He defends her, and tell me that she did nothing, while she did EVERYTHING. And he told me it was my fault in the beginning for sending her a message on Face-book and asking her what's going on. Because I WAS clueless, and he never admitted anything, and when I figured it all out, he still denied, until he came clean to me and confessed his stupid inexcusable mistake.


I cried myself to sleep, cried to him on the phone, he told me to quit crying, and once he also made fun of me for crying. I gave him a wake up call, told him I will dump him (though deep inside I couldn't, I just wanted him to feel the pain) - and he did.


She also keeps sending me messages, and pictures of her with him, hanging out together and crap. I felt so sad, and useless, and that he was totally not worth my time.





This and that happened, but we got back together, and things now are completely better.





I just changed a little on him, the trust is still not built completely, I still doubt him sometimes and get anxious when I don't hear from him. I gave him another chance cos everyone deserves a second chance - he is succeeding, and giving our relationship the best lately and ignored that wh*re.





I just hope the same for you eventually - try to ignore him, don't answer his phone calls or his messages, don't see him for days/weeks. Remember ';You never know what you got 'til it's gone'; - so if he loves you enough and care for you still, he will realize how bitter life is without you. Trust me.


If he was careless - then move on, dump his a*s, even if it is really hard. But it is for your own benefit.





Take my advice - learn from my story. See how it works for you. You will make the right decision I am sure. I wish you the best of luck dear, and remember I've been in your shoes, and I COMPLETELY feel for you.





Take care, and don't waste your precious tears ever again, don't cry a lot in front of him, it will show him how needy you are - be independent.
Get over it. He is a PLAYER. He want you your KID and All the other easy pieces he can come across. Been there done that. The only one getting hurt is that little child you have. Tell him it's over and get your own restraining order on both of them. Get yourself a new life and move on. He aint worth it.
Why the hell are you still with this moron???





Don't you want to be happy? Then take your child and leave him. You deserve soooo much better and don't give me the line about staying with him for the sake of the child. You being miserable id going to affect your child worse than being a single parent, believe me.





I wish you all the luck in the world, but honey, if you stay, you are signing away your chance for happiness. He sounds like a complete jerk. There are so many good men out there. Don't waste your life on this guy.
get rid of him you don't need this
WOW Miss Lady! Your relationship sounds toxic. Not only to you, but to your child. It is your duty as a Mother to protect the child at all costs. From him and the other woman.





You can bet that he will give you trouble with custody. He/They are already making you look bad by serving you a restraining order. Save all the messages and emails that you received because you may need those later to prove harrassment in court. Don't bother with things that you can't prove it was her/them, but do keep a log of hang ups because it is not normal to receive constant hang ups.





First, make a decision FOR yourself to be with or NOT be with this *** that can't make up his own mind and had the audacity to lay hands on the Mother of his child. Assuming you made the decision to leave him, I have no idea of how much you depend on him financially etc. Can you kick him out? Can you leave? Do you have somewhere safe to stay for a while?





However much you depend on him, you have options, but you MUST stand your ground and not give pity and go running back to him when his girlfriend gets bored of him and he wants you back. You don't need this man or his behavior around you or your child. It does not matter if it is his child either and you are not obligated to let him have the child if it is unsafe.





Okay, so you are not married, but you have a child together. You can still file Child Custody Suit so that all visits are clearly designated and he cannot run away with the child; plus child support. Remember that this is a critical time that he can try to make YOU look like an un-fit parent, but if you are of sound mind and able to support yourself, no judge would separate a child from the Mother that young. Keep your cool and stay mature; don't engage in arguments or phone calls with either of them; don't respond to emails; just do what you have to do and keep out of each other's way. I'm going to predict that he or she will start escalating because they are not getting a rise out of you anymore. Try your best to get away from them ASAP. They could try to upset you by taking the child or threatening you so that you will start fighting with them. Just stay away from them!!





I'm not sure what state you are in, but give WEAVE a call. They will provide you resources for shelter, legal advice, a lawyer, whatever you need to be safe. If they do not offer services in your area, they should be able to give you a referral to a someone with similar services.





GOSH, I HOPE THIS HELPS!!
Wow, sounds like it's time for you to move somewhere else and be happy with someone else.