How to stop being in denial about a boyfriend?

Okay so I am very confused about a certain situation. My long distance bf (he lives in the state above me, always can't see each other often) and I were planning a vacation to go down to Florida. His heart was set on it, it was mostly just verbal talking, no arragements set. I am 18 years old and he is 22 btw. We made plans at the end of March early April. In that time, I was trying to convince my parents on letting me go. My parents absolutely refuse to let me go. They support me and I live in their house. I am not one of those kids who say ';well i'm 18 peace out i'm going';, because that's disrespectful and I wouldn't have a good time knowing they are mad/worried about me.





So I told my bf this, and he freaked out. However, I didn't just spring it on him, I've been giving him the play by play on how it's not looking good on getting my parents to let me go. He doesn't understand why I just won't up and leave, my parents also said they would not pay for my community college if I went, so that was a factor.





However, my parents have a lakehouse and I convinced them to let him come with us to have fun. We won't be able to sleep in the same room, he will have to sleep on the pull out bed on the couch, which is comfy.





My boyfriend refused, he says if we can't go to Florida he doesn't want to see me at all this summer. I told him that that is immature, and it's mean to say that to your gf of 3 years that you would rather go another 6 months to a year without seeing her because of college and work, than rather have a nice lakehouse vacation.





We won't be able to have sex because of my parents, but I thought it would have been a nice get together, and a chance for my parents to get to know him more and vice versa to see how serious we are.





This arguement happend 3 days ago, and he still isn't talking to me. Usually after a fight he talks to me 3 hours to one day after, but this isn't the case. I tried to call him twice, and text him. I told him I loved him and I was sorry for whatever but can we at least talk? and I got no reply.








I suppose I have no boyfriend now,which is weird. After 3 years we were making plans to get married, and now he just up and leaves me over something as stupid as a summer vacation for 5 days.





But in my mind, I still think of us getting married, etc. I still talk about him to my family like I am going out with him still,and then I think, oh yeah I don't have a boyfriend cause he is not talking to me. I think the worst part is not actually knowing. I assume it's over on the count of he's ignoring me, but how do I stop being in denial?





Any advice on when or if he calls me on what to say?


Why do you suppose he is treating me this way?





Was I truly in the wrong?





I am so confused!








**Sorry for the length!!**How to stop being in denial about a boyfriend?
Do you suppose this vacation thing is a convenient way out of this relationship? Is there anything prior to this that would lead you to believe he wanted to break up with you?





I would be leery about accepting his blubbering apology if/when he does contact you again. I know that three years is a long time, especially for two people your age who obviously have not had a past relationship that could compare to this. I'm not saying call it off for good because he went overboard once, but just step back, think about what happened and what's being said, instead of getting caught up in the moment and rushing to get him back in your life.





No, you are definitely not wrong here. I know what its like to be in your shoes. My parents also help me out quite a bit financially while I'm in college, and I would never disrespect them or disobey their wishes in a situation like this.





However, if it turns out the relationship is over, don't worry. I've been there and I'm here to talk about it. Those feelings of solitude and emptiness pass quickly. I truly wish you the best of luck.How to stop being in denial about a boyfriend?
sorry long distance relationships dont work out....find someone in your own town...
he does not love you that much. he should be understanding and patient enough. Good luck
i agree with fireball
Tell ur self: ';its not going to work out and he's not good enough 4 me anyhow'; think about it and try to remember him as ur past, not ur present.
okay im in a long distance relationship and to be honest if you cant see each other for a year and he doesn't want to see you then maybe there is some other reason he doesn't want to see you! just a thought! and i think that you should leave him if you are only eighteen isn't he a little old for you? Just because he is older doesn't mean he is more mature!
You aren't in the wrong, your just held hostage by your parents. After Florida, what makes you think that you are going to get married? I wouldn't think that if I was him.





So your parents are paying your way through college! How many years is college? They got you there as well. How can he marry you with them again holding your purse.





I wouldn't come to the lake cottage either for a chaperoned visit under their control and having won.





His disappointment doesn't make him immature and neither does staying out from under the thumb of your parents. You wouldn't find me there, and I'm 24.





At 22 he needs to find a woman who is in command of her own life and can make plans and decisions with him. You won't be in that position for a number of years yet.





Are you East Indian by chance? Not discrediting East Indian people, but it seems that the parents find a way to stay in control of their children even when the time is past when they should.





Your parents no doubt didn't want you to go to Florida because it would obviously mean you and your boyfriend would be having sex as in a honeymoon when you don't even have the ring ye? Are you already involved sexually?





When you see the ring and place it on your finger, then chances are high that your getting married.





You aren't wrong, your circumstances are, and maybe your age for his expectations.





He isn't wrong either, and experiencing life from being able to make decisions and plans seems normal to him, and it is.





Give him some time to sort this all out because no doubt he's confused as well.





He did however do the right thing in not coming to the lake house and placing himself under the subjection of your parents as it took some work for him to get out from under that with his own parents.





A day visit to meet them would be way better, with you and him dating and him not staying over at your parents place is a better way for them to get to know him because it then remain about you and him and not him and you and them.





I covered all the ground from several angles giving you a chance to look at the fuller picture. I hope that helped some?





Me! :- )
Whenever you get the urge to tell him about something in your life, simply don't, resist. It sounds like you're still feeling connected to him because you're still ranting at him. Stop doing it and eventually you'll feel alone and lonely, thus no longer feel he's your boyfriend.





If he calls.. answer and depending on what you want, either tell him it is over or tell him he has a lot of explaining to do and apologizing because, in my opinion, you were not in the wrong. While I am more like him where I'd just say ';to hell with my parents'; I can understand the concept that that is not an option for you and it's just the way it is, it's part of the package that is ';you';.





As for why he's acting that way.. I am confused. The obvious answer, what I want to say, is if he would seriously rather go without seeing you.. then something is wrong, something is up, and I don't think he likes you anymore - but it's been 3 years.. so either there is more to the story between you guys that you aren't giving, or maybe this is just the beginning of the end (of his attachment).