Monday, August 16, 2010

Please help? We're in a huge fight and my boyfriend is blaming himself?!?!?

Ok, well, today my new boyfriend, Chris, came over our house for our family picnic. Most of my family loves him. He's 17 and he's been through so much, but he's really sweet, and sensitive. Well, my cousin, who's Chris's age (and goes to our school, too) can't stand him, and for no reason, too. She's very conceited and doesn't get along with me anymore either. She brought her boyfriend too, who laughs at Chris and our friends and I all the time. Anyways, my cousin and I were sitting on my deck, and her boyfriend was inside, and Chris went inside to get a towel, and I heard my cousin's boyfriend making jokes at Chris, like, ';Hey write any new songs lately?'; (Chris and I are in a band together) and was laughing, and I heard Chris saying, ';Man, I'm not gonna fight with you.'; and then my cousin's boyfriend saying, ';Oh? Pansie?'; and everything. Yes, he is a jerk... Anyways, I was getting up to go inside to tell my cousin's boyfriend to shut up, basically (lol) and my cousin came out of the bathroom, and started laughing at her boyfriend's jokes towards Chris. I went inside and told my cousin off and her boyfriend off, because Chris has never done anything to them, and now, my cousin and I are in a major fight. I told Chris about the between her and I, and now he's blaming himself, saying it's his fault that we're fighting. I told him, ';No, she's a jerk, and we argue about everything. It isn't your fault.'; But he's beating himself up over something that is completely not his fault... Why? What do I do? About everything? How do I tell Chris to stop blaming himself over something that he had no control over?!Please help? We're in a huge fight and my boyfriend is blaming himself?!?!?
He feels bad because he's a good person and a senstive person and clearly doesn't want to cause any problems for anyone. I bet your cousins boyfriend isn't beating himself over the fact that you and her are fighting, because he sounds like an ******.


All you can do is tell him it's not his fault, and that you are lucky because you have the better boyfriend.Please help? We're in a huge fight and my boyfriend is blaming himself?!?!?
I'm sorry! That's super annoying. It's not even close to being his fault. Just cheer him up and take his mind off of things! Keep the rest of the fight between you and your cousin, you don't want to make him feel any worse! Just apologize and tell him it won't happen again!
I think its not his fault and you should tell him that what youur cousin and her boyfriend said don't mean anything and that you love him and don't want your guy's relationship to end.
Just say your family is screwed up, and that they would do that to any of your boy friends, just make it up to him by going to a movie or something....
Tell him you %26amp; your cousin have a screwed up relationship and you're sorry he got caught in the middle. Then write a song about her. ; )
Tell him stop taking so much of the blame....











It is clearly not his fault for this...











He is not doing anything wrong.. he is just doing what he needs to do.








You get a star for this... good question.
Ur cousin and her boyfriend are the jerks!
';Chris, this isn't your fault. Please, please, im beging you, don't think this is your fault. you did the right thing, now you're going to beat up yourself for it? I can work things out with my cuz, okay? We're family, we always will. I'm sorry for the way they treated you. it wasn't right.but what's even wronger is blaming yourself.';
If your cousin is conceited and doesn't get along with you, why was she at your family picnic? Maybe she can't stand him because she has a crush on him and doesn't want anyone to know it.


Her boyfriend doesn't sound like a very nice guy. Maybe they deserve each other.


I wonder if he's jealous because Chris is in a band and writes songs and he doesn't.


Would it be at all possible to stay out of each others' way? (You and your cousin)?


Chris sounds like a very kind, sensitive, easy-going person. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Most artists are like that.


Chris did the right thing by not giving in to a fight.


I would try to ignore your cousin and her boyfriend as much as possible and have Chris do the same. You both sound like two very reasonable, sensible people. I don't think that the two of you would have any trouble finding friends to hang out with together.


Give Chris time, and I'm sure he will be able to put this behind him. Eventually, he will realize that it isn't his fault.
I think you and your cousin are the problem as neither of you gave a hoot about the family having fun. If one of you would have stopped and thought their may be a problem then someone could have either not a brought a boyfriend or went somewhere else or worked something out beforehand. You both owe your family an apology. Your boyfriend was as wronged as your family and did nothing to deserve being brought into this fiasco aside from dating you.
I blame myself most of the things, maybe try and talk to him about in a nice and calm way...Don't know what else to say. Try do something fun together so it would take of his mind about what had happened. Also, what's good , is that, spend some along time with each other. if you want to.
He should definitely not be blaming himself. He sounds like a nice enough guy to take the blame for everything like he has done here. He probably thinks that its his fault because if he had not have come over, then your cousin would have never met him and you guys would never have gotten in a fight.
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